is it healthy/unhealthy to have a strong bond with eal children

[tomy12]

at my work we have a lot of eal children and for some reason they just bond with me.
which my manager is happy for me to do so in the beginning, but now it is deemed unhealthy and now they children removed the children from me kicking and screaming.
i can hear them out side screaming my name which is not nice to hear them crying so.
as soon as they can come to me they stop crying.

thought i would ask for your opioions

[Ruthierhyme]

Hi, the children's reactions show how unhealthy the separation is, a huge well done for establishing positive relationships with them. xx

Do you know why the manager feels the attachments are unhealthy?

Can you see any problems with what's currently happening?

Maybe you're deployed to an area of the room that means children are reluctant to leave you and explore?
Do you have so many children surrounding you that it makes it difficult to engage with other children?
Have parents expressed concern that the children aren't taking part in ways they'd expect.
Is there a transition about to occur where it's felt children's independance is of greater importance than maintaining their contact with you - a change in rooms, toddlers to a preshcool maybe?
Are colleagues invited to join you and through that partnership can you help other adults meet the relationship and language needs of the children.

Have you been able to raise your concern at their upset with the manager, through a meeting or other avenue? If possible try to find out the reasoning behind these 'to remove' actions and see what solutions can be put in place so that the children can keep their relationship with you and lead on their own initiative in choosing who they prefer to spend time with.

I hope this helps, best wishes with what happens xx

[tomy12]

manager says its totally unprofessional to have such strong bonds with the children.
and the other staff feel the same.but nothing gets said to them about the bonds they have with certain children.
the parents activley encourage the children to bond with me.
the children explore the setting on thier own but like to have me in sight.as soon as they are knoked, another child takes thier toys they make a bee line for me.
it was horrible today as i had to do planning when the children went outsaide,the children wanted me to go with them,i encouraged them to go outside and they did then after 5 mins realized i wasnt their so came to find me.the manager then took them from me kicking and screaming back outside and shut the dooor.i could hear them banging and screaming for me.broke my heart to hear them so stressed.
they started with us this term and i feel that by trying to stop them from being with me will make them worse.

[Ruthierhyme]

Hi, it's unprofessional not to have a relationship with each child. For your setting's planning & provision to be child centered it needs to know their interests and circumstances so that everyone's able to support a child's welfare and well-being. The children come to you from a family that itself belongs to your community. Where there's a commitment towards the positive outcomes of children and local prosperity the community's youngest are hugely important. What happens in your setting are first steps to showing a child & their family how vauled they are and how high a priority promoting a sense of belonging is.

The barriers associated with EAL and with only 4/5/6 weeks attendance at a new setting all adds to the children needing secure attachments - it's what supports independance, confidence, resilience, self esteem. Why attachment is important

Recognising unprofessional practice safeguards children.

Can you ask your manager for the exact, the most specific reason why they feel what's happening is unprofessional?
What are they worried about?
What is making them feel so uncomfortable?
An allegation being made?
Your conduct or aspects of conduct?
Policies & procedures guide what happens in both these situations.
An allegation can be made at any time so knowing what to do, who to contact and what's involved in the process is good practice.
Concerns regarding professional conduct need to be addressed through the correct procedures - whistleblowing, grievance, compaints? Your manager will have a duty to safeguard you as well as the children and the setting - you can raise a concern about how the children are being physically handled and what their emotional responses are, parents can raise concerns and your manager/colleagues can raise a concern about your relationship with a or the child/ren.

Is there a cultural perspective involved that maybe feels children have an inate ability to be confident and for that confidence & independance to happen a child needs to be solitary or have emotional & physical distance from others.
Do they feel that secure attachment is dependancy and that dependancy is damaging?
Do they feel children aren't gaining the most from the the setting whilst a need to be near you exists.
Would you be able to ask if you can find some local training opportunities that explore child attachment and well-being?

Do you have any links with your local authority and their children & family or Early years services? It's possible they'll have access to EAL expertise that you'll find helpful.

If you're active in the planning cycle can you demonstrate how your close attachment's are enabling the children's learning eg. outside with you children explore with contentment and motivation, colleagues join in to expand on the children's discoveries, support their learning, development and whole group relationships? Inside, tabletop activities that focus on supporting communication, language & literacy are enjoyed. Card games like snap, sorting, matching & threading beads, dough, jigsaws, books. Floor play that involves building, construction, music, role play & dress up areas?

Early Years - supporting children learning english as an additional language 2007 from archived DoE. Page 7 identifies the 'silent phase' of EAL children that might be causing concern. Page 8 details the importance of secure trusting relationships and gives evidence to the opportunities that you have to build relationships with the children's parents, that ultimately bring their first language into the setting and take English back into their home. The publication contains eyfs 2008 information - eyfs 2012

Activities to support children with EAL

Hugs, I hope you can resolve it soon, if you want to read about how others whistleblowing policies work for them a google search & this policy will help xx

[FARLEYS]

It breaks my heart reading this post, it's only a few weeks into the term, I feel too soon to be removing children from a key adult they have formed a relationship with, without a really good reason, ie allegations etc. every early years worker has a duty to safeguard every child. EAL will find it unsettling enough at times without the added pressure of having their safe environment within the setting disrupted!! I can't say anymore on the matter as I'm so angry for those poor children........

[tomy12]

i am dreading the middle of the week when they attend as i know i shall have to listen to them breaking their heart and it breaks mine too.
but manager and other staff are unwilling to listen even though i have 3 years experience in this area with other eal children who all went through this same pattern.

[Ruthierhyme]

Don't be broken hearted, you're someone capable of making a commitment to supporting these children and their families. Please don't feel you can't challenge colleague's decisions, be polite, respectful, let them know how you can't stand back and do nothing when you see the children react in ways you know is damaging, harming or upsetting them.

Think of ways you can resolve this ..

• What does your organisation's structure look like?
• Who else can you contact to discuss your concerns - a head teacher, the owner, a chairperson? can you make an appointment for a chat?
• Ask for a copy of your setting's complaints procedure.
  If it stipulates this is for parents and carers only, ask for the grievance policy and procedure. If you're prevented from accessing this contact PCAW or use the whistleblowing poster's contact details/hotline and get in touch to find out how you can enforce a complaints procedure in your setting - a statutory requirement.
• Consider making a formal complaint/initiating the grievance or whistleblowing policy's procedure - a complaint has to be recorded in accordance with EYFS if in England, and a record of a complaint logged and made available to ofsted - page 27, there is a 28 day time frame for the complaint to be investigated and the outcome discussed with the complainant.
• Are parents aware of what's happening. If not this is a serious concern. If yes there needs to be a way to make these children's days enjoyable, positive and productive, not miserable. The number of strategies needed to reverse children not wanting to go or come into a setting, panicking when they see individuals are truly heart breaking, you're at the point that prevents those strategies from being necessary.
• You need to know why manager and colleagues feel current practice is unprofessional or unhealthy, understand that they are calling what's happening into question - this could be what you're doing and how you're doing it, it could be how children are behaving/responding to you and to their surroundings, or it could be the setting's culture, based on cultural perspectives. If a satisfactory response can't be given there is no reason to prevent the children from continuing on with the relationship that they've built with you. If a safeguarding issue is raised the correct procedures need to be followed for everyone to be protected.
• Ask for expertise, raise a suggestion with your manager and colleagues so that someone can speak to any external services that are also supporting your children's EAL needs - involve parents, ask who they have contact with outside of the setting.
• Find out from those service providers how and what type of support children with EAL will need to become settled, confident members of a setting.
• Be able to explain to the service providers how the setting is experiencing difficulty in agreeing a way to provide for the children's needs.
• See what happens and what's suggested.
• Your experience counts for a lot, trust it xx

I hope this helps, I'm glad they have you on their side :)

[tomy12]

today the other staff have agreed to work with me and these children to build their trust in another member of staff.and for small amounts of time to start with i shall leave the children with that member of staff and increasing the time at the childs pace.
but i know from experience that its all talk.i have contacted my equality and diversity support officer for my are to get some support with this.

[Ruthierhyme]

That's wonderful, so many well dones

[tomy12]

well today they children attended but a mum was on duty who is friends with the children and thier family.so they both stuck with mum after a member of staff came over and took them from me as i was needed else where.
i have spoken to my diversity area officer and said its to early to think of the children being away from me but me to encourage the children to make freinds with other children in the setting.
but manager and other staff say its rediculus and not all professionals know what they are doing.
well i dont agree as thats why they are a professional in that area.
i am so stressed and the children are picking up on it too, making them worse.