Hopefully this will help get you started:
“A child’s ability to develop good relationships is an extremely important step on the path to getting the best out of his or her life.”
Hands on Scotland.co.uk
There are a number of ways you can support children and young people to make new relationships. These include:
• Being a good role model.
Children learn by example and one of the best ways you can teach them is through your own behaviour. You must ensure that the relationships you develop with other adults and children themselves are respectful. You should interact in a kind, supportive and caring way. You should be attentive, listen to what they have to say and accept their opinions. By doing this the children and young people you work with will learn through observation. They will know how your interaction with them makes them feel and hopefully strive to interact with others in a similar way.
• By being supportive.
You need to support them to learn to share, take turns and develop friendships from an early age. This could be done by developing their self confidence. You could introduce a shy child to a group of children you know to be kind and caring. Stay near the child but remain in the background so the child has independence to develop the relationship but has the reassurance of your presence to calm their nerves. You must not force relationships – if children do not wish to interact with each other this must be accepted or they will develop a negative relationship. If you do come across a situation like this you could work with the children to explore why they struggle to interact and have negative feelings towards each other. This helps them to develop an understanding of the dynamics of different people and although they may not become firm friends they will develop a relationship of understanding and tolerance.
• By being encouraging.
Children can sometimes struggle to understand the needs of others and think only of themselves. You need to gently encourage them to think about those around them and support them to develop empathy. This can be done by getting them to reflect on how their behaviour, both positive and negative, can impact on others. Encourage them to explore their own feelings towards situations they have found themselves in, for example if someone has been unkind to them or if someone saw that they were lonely and came and played with them. By doing this you are supporting the children to think about the needs of others and place importance on those needs.
• By embracing diversity.
We live in a diverse and multi-cultural community and children sometimes need support to accept and welcome people from other faiths or nationalities. They need to learn that everyone is valued and important regardless of their background or ability and that everyone has something important to contribute. You must ensure that you include all children in your daily working, giving them time, support and understanding to express themselves and to interact.
• By being positive.
If we look for the good in everyone we will find it. We need to help children to learn this skill and to remember that no matter how angry or upset they may be there is still good in them. They will then develop the skill to look for the good in others. Teaching tolerance and understanding through our own actions helps children to learn. Again this could be by making the child reflect on their own behaviour. If they have used unkind words or hurt someone get them to think about how they would feel if it happened to them. If they reply with “I don’t care” tell them you do because you know they are a good person and they are angry but when they calm down they will care. We need to remind children of the good in themselves for them to seek the good in others.
• Through responsibility
Children can learn a lot by being given responsibility. They develop the understanding of trust and in turn begin to trust others. As they get older they can be given roles of support – helping younger children through buddies and mediation programmes. This helps them to develop their interaction with various age groups as they will have to communicate with adults and children alike. They will be able to develop their problem solving skills, develop their understanding of the needs and opinions of others and their empathy. They will also be able to develop their negotiation skills and be able to see differing points of view and opinions from a new angle.
• By encouraging independence.
Children have to learn to be independent in order to build new relationships. They must not be allowed to rely upon one or two people but encouraged to interact with everyone within a setting. If you find a child is continuously coming to you for support and you know they were working with another adult you should support and encourage them to interact with that adult by taking them over and helping them to articulate.
An example of this could be when a group of children are working together at a table, with another adult, colouring in and one of the children is someone who has formed a particular attachment to you. This child comes to you because he wants a pencil another child has and that child won’t let him use it. You could begin by asking him why he didn’t speak to the other adult and remind him that they are also there to help him. You could then suggest you go over together and speak to this adult. You could start the conversation by saying Charlie has a bit of a problem and then encourage the boy to explain his problem – supporting him with words but getting him to talk. This should them give him the confidence to articulate his needs to that adult next time.
Children also need to learn how to sort out disputes and difficulties. You need to be able to take a step back and help them to try and resolve their difficulties themselves. This helps them to learn to see things from another person’s point of view.
• Through the environment.
A good way of encouraging the development of relationships is through displays. Children can be encouraged to draw, write about and explore their ideas about what makes a good friend.
By developing all of these skills in children you are developing their ability to form new relationships. They learn best by example and encouragement and we should strive to do the best in both. It is our aim to produce secure, happy, confident, independent children and by doing such they will have the skills needed for later life.
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it seems to be one minute you are flying through a unit and the next brain freeze!!!! Thank you again, that is that unit complete:
On to the next one,just four more to go
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