Hi, would it help to look at situations that have potential to cause conflict & negotiation and then link it to the ages of children you have experience & knowledge of ..
eg.
Sharing
Controlling touch - the gently approach
Turn-taking
Activities - where a child elects to opt out of an activity/event and children/adult wonder why or where a child elects to opt in and prompts others to prevent/exclude them from play.
Being the one in charge - conflict & negotiation that involves leadership issues, compromise, communication and understanding everyones expectations eg. book choosing, activity suggestion, trip or outing organisation
Inability to engage/inner conflict or turmoil - eg. a wandering child that moves from place to place possibly causing problems on those journeys -
sabotage and saboteur .. where conflict arrises from wanting something to cease being and where there may be a view/perception that the child/young person is taking an enjoyment from that - squashing sandcastles as passing by, snatching a toy as running by .. older could be using the word saboteur as a label to end a hurt/taking part in an activist rally or maybe, across all ages by refusing recognition of an achievement/finding it difficult to find reason to accept recognition, & in contrast unable to accept/take on the consequences of unacceptable or inappropriate behaviour for reasons an individual holds - as a right, as personal - poerful read of
saboteur & definitions for
self-sabotage
Bullying through name calling, teasing, taunting
Jealousy/ownership - 'my mum goway' - 'my boy/girlfriend take a hike'
Common concerns from Kings College.ac.uk is good reading for how older children may experience situations of conflict and possible negotiation.
Maybe you've observed situations where actions and communication - child to child has resulted in conflict ..
Snatching, running away with a taken item, holding item out of reach, throwing item. Anger & hitting another with a body part or object, pulling hair, shouting at another in close proximity, pinching, biting. Unexpected quietness, withdrawal. A sudden change to a friendship group.
and were part of the events that helped deal with the incident, negotiate through the wants of everyone and help discover a solution that everyone is satisfied with ..
A few examples of language that involve defensiveness, conflict, challenge, negotiation and the establishment of boundaries .. 'You play that now' - 'I go next yes'? - 'Me/my turn?' - 'Mine'
'Boys don't do this' - 'girls play over there not here' - 'I go here'
Positive relationships By Jennie Lindon on amazon & for June 2012
Understanding children's behaviour
Making friends - Assisting children's early relationships from the FPG Child Development Institute
http://www.aboutourkids.org/articles...ds_friendships from NYU child study center
Hth, a warm welcome to you both xx