ADHD advice please

'lo everyone, how are you all? Its been a while since I've been around - up to my ears in coursework and minding........

Right, need some advice please, I mind a 10 year old who has ADHD. He doesn't particuarly want to be "minded" but I have his younger brother and obviously mom pays!!! I have them varying hours each week - some weeks it earlys before school other weeks its after school for 2.5 hours, holdiays various full days.
When child is in a good mood he is brilliant, co-operative, sunny, helpful, communicative etc, he is great with the 2yr olds and under. Obviously he can be a bit "high" at times but I have noticed he is particuarly argumentative and combative with one of my other mindees a 9 year old who is quite quiet. He can be like this at times with my own children too, age 9 and 6. My mindee 9 year old has told his mum that he feels uncomfortable when 10 year is present and I have noticed that him and my eldest will go of on their own (ie to sons room). I have tried to implement a "behaviour" agreement between me and all the school age but the 10 year olds view is (please excuse me) "thats gay and I'm not doing that", I have made a little pack for my school ages with this agreement, explanations of expectations, rewards, good behaviour and a questionnaire all about them. Apparently the rewards a "naff and not enough" - I have stickers, certificates, sweetie tin and a "dip box" full of little goodies (ie whoopee cushion, squishy thingies etc). All the other kids think this is a great idea and even my own sons have agreed to sign the "agreement" forms.
I am trying to find out about ADHD as much as possible and I am trying to pin mum down for a meeting to discuss this.
Anyone with any experience of this would be helping me loads and all suggestions received with THANKS.
How much of this is/could be ADHD, what can I expect of him - even with ADHD does he have some control over what he says/does at the age of 10, understand right from wrong etc? His behaviour for the first few weeks with me was spot on - although he got a little too playfully aggresive at times. Bear in mind that I have these kids from 8 - 9 am so surely his medication should have kicked in round this time? I know they all want to let of steam AFTER school etc.
He told me this morning that I can't tell him what to do and that he could just leave if he wanted to.
I always keep calm (even though I get very frustrated), talk to him calmly and rationally giving him chance to voice his opinion etc but I cannot have him hurting my kids, totally ignoring what I am saying, making other mindees uncomfortable and potentially walking of.

HELLLLLLPPPPPPP Thanks

[Miss Muffet]

Hiya, I've got no experience of ADHD whatsoever, but I felt so bad for you I went surfing to see if I could help. All I came up with (after reading loads of condescending material!) was ADDISS and Darlington Behavioural Support. I hope you find some of the information helpful, and I'm sure there'll be advice from our members following my reply.

Good luck

Thank you Miss Muffet - appreciate your time and help.

I am tearing my hair out a little but I really would like to get on top of this and some control. I don't want to admit defeat and I want ALL the children in my care to be happy and comfortable. I accept that not everyone is going to get on (all of the time) but I want to be able to "do" this.

I'll have a good look through the sites and let you know what they are like - they might help someone else at some point in the future

Thank you again

[Ruthierhyme]

Vik tbh I think the best thing you can do is sit down with mum & talk about all of this.

ADHD is hard enough to deal with as a group let alone as a minder with other mindees to think about!
His age has a large bearing on how to tackle problems & mum may have strategies already in place (at home or with school) that could give you more idea & help.

I'm not always sure reward charts work that well .. as at the end of the day the child will switch off when they realise it's the only thing being used to try & 'modify (for want of a better word ) their behaviour.

What truly interests him & gets his attention ?

Please ... let us know how things go & don't forget we're here to help let off steam

[sarahnev707]

ADD/ADHD is a really difficult one cos it can mask so many other things eg dyspraxia (bumping into things & tripping over the brick in the playground), autistic spectrum stuff etc
I was reading your post and nodding away - I've look after a 14 year old with ADD and he can be anything from lovely to a complete nightmare - and he has got violent in the past.... he comes with brother who protects me from the worst of it! He doesn't like incentives, won't sign or keep to behaviour agreements, makes fun of others, is unable to communicate with some of the other children - incl my son..... WATCH him with little ones cos he might one day do something stupid like drop his trousers to rearrange himself in front of a 3 year old!!
I have worked closely with his father (mother off the scene), his school and his consultant and nothing much has improved over the 3 years I've minded him ....
Then he was put on medication and he has stabilised quite a lot - less mood swings, more able to control impluses....
It's always a risk with ADHD - there's a lovely story I read a while ago - 'a butterfly in my pocket'

http://www.underfives.co.uk/CWGADHD.html

Sarahx