Silkysteps early years forum - planning ideas for play - cypop 14 ending an unhappy relationship?

This is what i wrote and it's been signed off :-)

3.3. Explain how to support a child or young person to end relationships that are making them unhappy

If a child had a relationship that was making them unhappy, I would support them to end the relationship by listening to what they had to say. I would praise them for coming to me for help. Support, advice and reassurance, which in turn, would help boost their self-esteem and self-confidence and hopefully help them feel ‘stronger’ in communicating with the other person and making the other person aware of how they felt.
I would keep confidentiality, where appropriate – so they felt they could trust me.
I would talk through with them, the good and bad points in the relationship, so they could look at it from both angles. I would then encourage them to try and leave the relationship in a respectful way, as further down the line; they may want to be friends again.
If the other person was making them unhappy because they were asking them to do things that were against the law or things that made them feel unsafe, then I would also talk about what sort of trouble they could get into and the consequences that could arise from this if they continued with the relationship.
I would also remind the child/young person that it was ok to end the relationship for a while if they were not happy with the direction in which it was going, in order to give themselves space to think about what they wanted to do about the relationship problem, however big or small.

3.4. Describe the circumstances that would result in a relationship causing concern and the actions that should follow

Circumstances that would result in a relationship causing concern would be any type of abuse. For example-
Physical abuse – Signs and symptoms

• If a child has unexplained recurring injuries or burns.
• Bruising in unusual places. E.g. inner arms and thighs.
• If a child wears long sleeved clothes for example, to cover injuries – even in hot weather.
• If the child refuses to get undressed for p.e at school
• Patches of hair missing
• If the child continues to run away from home, time after time.
• Fear of being examined at the doctors.
• If they are aggressive towards themselves and other people.
• Have a fear of physical contact – shrinking back if touched

Sexual abuse - Signs and symptoms

• Knowledge or behaviour that is not appropriate to the child’s age.
• Medical problems. E.g. Severe itching or pain in the genitals.
• The child may be depressed, attempt suicide, run away from home or self-harm.
• Personality may change. E.g. become insecure or clingy.
• May have difficulty in walking or sitting.
• Change in behaviour. E.g. Regression
• Loss of appetite or compulsive eating
• Becoming isolated or withdrawn
• Unable to concentrate
• Have a fear of someone they know well.

Emotional abuse – Signs and symptoms

• Delayed development.
• Sudden speech problems. E.g. stammering
• Low self-esteem
• Fear of new situations
• Becoming withdrawn or aggressive.
• Neurotic behaviour. E.g. Hair twisting or self-harm.

Neglect – Signs and symptoms

• Constantly hungry
• Poor personal hygiene
• Constantly tired
• Poor state of clothing. E.g. dirty/smelly or wearing the same clothes for several days.
• Unusual thinness or loss of weight.
• Medical problems that are left untreated.
• The child may have no social relationships.

As a setting, the actions we would take if we were concerned about a relationship would be:
The child’s key person would make a dated record of the details of the concern and then discuss this with the designated safeguarding officer in the setting. The information would then be stored on the child’s personal file.
If the child makes a disclosure then we would listen to the child and give reassurance that we will take action,
The member of staff would make a signed and dated record of the child’s name, address, age of the child, date and time of the observation or disclosure, an objective record of the observation or disclosure, the exact word spoken by the child and the names of any other people present at the time.
Parents would be informed first, unless the allegation was made against them. The appropriate authorities would then be informed/contacted. E.g. Customer first.

3.5. Explain how to support children or young people to recognise and take action when they are involved in abusive or exploitative relationships.

I would support children to recognise and take action when they are involved in abusive or exploitative relationships, by trying to boost their self-esteem and self-confidence. I would ensure that the child/young person knew that they were not to blame for the situation and that by talking to someone, they could get the help needed. I would talk to them about what was right and what was wrong and assure them that they have a right to say No to anything that makes them feel uncomfortable. I would teach them to trust their own feelings.
I would try to work with the child/young person to enable them to make sense and understand the abusive nature of their situation, and together – along with other agencies, come up with a plan to help them remove themselves from the situation – taking into account the needs and wishes of the individual child/young person.

If the child didn’t feel comfortable with talking to someone they knew, then I would make them aware of the child line number that they could call for advice.

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